He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
