I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
