am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
