He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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