Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
