I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
ok first of all what the fuck
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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