the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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