hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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