i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
