dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
