I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
