I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
