Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
