so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
