just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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