Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
