I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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