ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
