In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
