Michael Bay diarrhea
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
