I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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