honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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