Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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