So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Screwed.edu
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
