Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
