so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
