yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
