You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
