That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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