I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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