Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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