A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
