I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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