If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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