There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
