4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize