i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
