I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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