Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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