this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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