god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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