I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
