question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
