I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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