Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
