Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
