I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
