Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
