I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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