you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
