hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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