yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
