Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
