You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
