So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
