Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize