id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I look better un-naked...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
