Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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