entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
