My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
