So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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