Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
