Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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