That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So many bounce houses so little time
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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